50 questions Black people wish (non-Black) people asked instead of the top 50 Google questions about African-Americans
My quick-round honest answers to what ChatGPT says Black people want to be asked
It’s always interesting to see what the top searches related to African-Americans are. About 80% of the results are the usual advertisements that I’m constantly bombarded with while watching YouTube videos or checking out what’s new on TUBI. Advertisers are really convinced Black people all like the same things, and it becomes especially obvious when I see (mostly male, mostly Black) podcast hosts all advertising clean-your-balls, last-longer-in-bed or gambling apps. You would swear Black men care about nothing else from these ads.
When I listen to non-Black podcasts or watch non-Black videos, the advertisements are all over the place. With us, marketing teams definitely think we all hang out in one room, throw our money in one pot, and drink an exorbitant amount of liquor before or after washing our hair.
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So I decided to try something new. I logged into ChatGPT to see what the top questions are about Black people. But when ChatGPT suggested I might like 50 questions Black people wish we were asked more often instead of Google’s top questions about Black people, it piqued my interest. I have never been asked at least half of these queries. I decided to answer all 50 questions in the following categories:
🧠 Identity and Lived Experience
📚 History and Awareness
💬 Everyday Experiences
❤️ Relationships and Allyship
🎭 Culture and Expression
💇🏾♀️ Hair, Appearance and Respect
🧬 Moving Beyond Stereotypes
🌍 Broader Perspectives
🤝 Curiosity Done Right
🌱 Growth and Understanding
Feel free to share these questions with your friends, family and other loved ones to get their answers too.
🧠 Identity and Lived Experience
1. What does being Black mean to you personally?
Recently, when a non-Black Realtor saw me walking by and pointed at three Black people, I was told they may be my neighbors. I nodded, feeling like the token Black lady and kept walking. But when one of those three saw me returning home from a second errand, she stopped me and asked what it is really like to live in this neighborhood. Those are the types of questions and answers from Black people to Black people that will hold far more weight than anything the Realtor could tell her.
2. How has your identity shaped your life experiences?
From being told to “stay out of the sun ‘cause you getting too Black” by a former Black co-worker to being called a “nigger bitch” by one former white neighbor and a “Black bitch” by a current Dominican neighbor (who tried and failed to be cool with me later), I’ve definitely experienced my fair share of racism and self-hatred. But attending an elementary school with field trips to see Denzel Washington’s “Malcolm X,” reading the autobiography, reading Alex Haley’s “Roots” and watching the slavery TV series toughened me up when it came to verbal abuse. It also made me no-nonsense and battle-ready when I was confronted with racism by a prior boss and prior professor. If you’re looking for someone to cower away, it ain’t me! I fear no one or no thing — besides mice.
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3. What do people often misunderstand about Black identity?
White people with one Black friend are exhausting, primarily because too often they’ll defend microaggressions and racism by saying, “My Black friend doesn’t mind.” More often than not, your Black friend has no other Black friends and doesn’t know any better. If you have one Black friend, find a second one. We’re not a monolith, and that one person doesn’t speak for the entire race. And definitely do not listen to Black (or trying-too-hard-to-be-Black biracial) people who use phrases like “white nigga” or laugh when white people say “nigga.” Stay away from these Uncle Ruckus types.
4. How do you define your culture?
Culture is so regional and customized that it’s hard to define. I’ve lived in three states (Illinois, Missouri, Michigan), and the Black people I met have such polar opposite styles, lingo and other mannerisms. In college, I could always spot who was from Chicago. They didn’t even have to speak; I’d just watch how they moved around. There is definitely an energy Chicagoans (not people from Illinois suburbs claiming Chicago) have that I don’t see in Black people from Detroit or Kansas City or St. Louis. When I watch Lena Waithe’s “The Chi,” I have yet to be wrong about native Chicagoans versus actors who moved here temporarily for filming. Even when I went parasailing in Oahu, I saw a couple in Hawaii and knew they were from my hometown from their mannerisms alone. Avoid letting someone who is not from a particular region or culture tell you about that region or culture — too often their takes are what TV told them, not locals.
5. What makes you feel most seen and respected?
Revisit my answer in number one. I did not want to answer her question because I didn’t want to create biases and self-fulfilling prophecies. I actually tried to turn around before she could see me return to my block, but she’d already made eye contact. She said, “As a Black woman, I want to hear your take.” And so I unloaded — telling her the highs and the lows. When Black American people stop and listen to other Black American people unload, chiming in to share their own experiences to let you know they understand where you’re coming from, it’s an indescribable way to feel seen and respected. It was a load off my shoulders to tell someone who didn’t already know me too.
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📚 History and Awareness
6. What parts of Black history should more people learn about?
I love everything about the Harlem Renaissance, especially the poetry, the writers, the culture and the business opportunities.
7. How does history still affect life today?
I’m baffled when people watch Donald Trump and claim what he does is “un-American” as though the Middle Passage was a figment of our imagination. The presidential election in 2016 and the one in 2024 proves how much we take two steps forward and two steps back.
8. What does Juneteenth mean to you?
I have to thank Yasiin Bey (Mos Def) for even introducing me to Juneteenth. I didn’t know what it was until 2010 (at the age of 29). Although it is a disgrace to me that states still continued to allow people to be enslaved in some parts of the world and not others after the Emancipation Proclamation, at least Texas finally came around to letting the latter group know two years later. Still, it’s the primary reason I don’t pay attention to the Fourth of July festivities.
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9. How can people better understand the impact of the Civil Rights Movement today?
There’s nothing I can tell you that a book hasn’t already made available. Find a solid author (adult or children), crack open a hardcover (or press play on an audiobook), and start learning.
10. What historical figures inspire you the most?
I almost got expelled for defending the Harlem Renaissance and Langston Hughes, which led to the subject of a Toastmasters International speech. I missed out on a contract extension for doubling down on Harriet Tubman’s historical contributions. Both of them are equally important to me.