Sorry, aspiring college students, but your parents aren't required to pay tuition
Tips to afford college when your parents haven't saved for your educational expenses
If I was asked to write all the funny moments during comedian Ali Siddiq’s specials, the list would look more like a scroll. Even when I don’t agree with some jokes (like kidnapping his sister to teach her a lesson about keys), I could still take the lesson from the story. And there is one common theme in his comedic videos that I’m 100% on board with: Never tell your kids they must leave your home when they turn 18.
I’ve seen this play out with a family member, who stressed out her son during prom and high school graduation. Why? He had no plan after graduation. And I’m still baffled about why she assumed any teenager would have a business plan ready to take care of himself. Teenagers can barely figure out how to vote, never mind take care of themselves financially. And with no plans lined up, she moved out of the home they were living in and left him to homelessness.
Unlike Ali Siddiq now, there was no generational wealth to rely on. No rent money. No apartment. No college savings. No dorm. My family member had done the same thing that the comedian’s mother told him he had to do once he was legal: Leave. (Teen Ali Siddiq sold drugs and ended up going to prison for a few years. Many years later, he has become a hilarious comedian and makes sure his children don’t feel forced to copy his decisions as a youth.)
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Meanwhile, when I was 17, I had big plans about going to an out-of-state college and becoming a full-time novelist. Although my mother was annoyed that I was so adamant about fleeing the state and wondered what was the rush, I was already plotting on 24/7 independence. (The irony is I didn’t grow up in a strict household. I was just an old soul who was ready to spread my wings.) I’d talked myself into believing what Ali Siddiq’s mom believed: When you graduate from high school, it’s time to pack up my bags and roll out. Don’t be a forever roommate of your parents.
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Now had they been pressing me to leave or badgering me about my future on a daily basis, I can guarantee I would’ve been offended. However, the offense on my end was something I had no clue about. During my senior year, I realized there was no money saved for me to live the life of my college dreams. Legally, my parents were not required to pay for my college expenses. I had no idea this wasn’t a parental requirement with one exception: divorce.
In most states, parents are generally responsible for supporting their children only until age 18 or high school graduation. However, there are some exceptions—especially when parents are divorced.
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States that require divorced parents to financially contribute for college expenses
In certain states, including my home state of Illinois, courts can order divorced parents to help pay for their child’s college education, depending on the circumstances. These states include:
Alabama
Arizona
Colorado
Connecticut
Florida
Georgia
Hawaii
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Maryland
Massachusetts
Mississippi
Missouri
Montana
New Jersey
New York
North Dakota
Oregon
South Carolina
South Dakota
Utah
Washington
West Virginia
Washington, D.C.
In the aforementioned states, courts may require divorced parents to contribute to college costs such as tuition, housing and books. But what happens when parents are still married or were never married at all? Not much.
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The majority of states do not legally require parents to pay for college expenses once a child reaches adulthood. While a savings account or a 529 plan would be ideal, it’s not a given. Parents can voluntarily agree to help pay for college in a divorce settlement or family agreement. However, courts usually cannot force them to do so without such an agreement written up already.
I was upset when I first found this out and — with the help of student loans and a huffy conversation with my grandfather — did end up getting a bachelor’s degree and taking three years worth of grad school courses. In retrospect, my attitude was a little entitled but not totally unreasonable.
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The lack of college savings isn’t really anyone’s fault. Whether parents want their children to go to college or not, millions of families simply cannot afford to save for higher education. It does help for parents to have a frank conversation with their kids about this ahead of time though.
For teens who want to go to college but have parents who haven’t saved enough money to do so, you still have a few options. Through scholarships, financial aid, work programs and smart planning, here’s how you do it.