Black gynecologists may not always be empathic either
The pap smear appointment that left me thinking 'choose black' isn't always accurate
Writer’s note: The following post is available in Substack’s “We Need to Talk.” With the uptick in posts about how African-American patients are not being treated well during childbirth and/or with gynecologists, I have to weigh in and say it comes down to the person, not just the race or gender. My first and second pap smear were night and day, and the worst one was with an older, African-American, male doctor who treated his patients like science projects. It is imperative that women don’t just pick someone in-network; make sure this person (regardless of race or gender) actually LISTENS to your concerns. Whether it’s checking your heartbeat or your vaginal health, your doctor should not be dismissive of pain nor your health questions.
The following excerpt is from “Prepare your daughter for her first gynecology visit ~ As uncomfortable as sexual health topics may be, not forewarning her ahead of time is worse”
I figured out fairly quickly why my mother said pap smears hurt. I made the mistake of visiting our mutual primary care physician a year later and figured if one guy (white and male) could do it without an issue, the second one (black and male) could too. Unfortunately, the latter exam was the most dreadfully painful and uncomfortable experience I have ever had in my life.
(I’m assuming childbirth is worse, but I’m not a mother. Additionally, my mother had the best luck ever in that avenue. My brother was born in 30 minutes and hanging out of her so much that she couldn’t sit down in the wheelchair at the hospital. Seven years later, I was born in 1.5 hours. My brother and I clearly had places to go and people to see. Taking up time in hospitals wasn’t of interest to either of us.)
Her gynecologist was rough with the speculum, gave no warning before opening it, demanded my feet stay still in the stirrups and was frustrated when I asked him to give me a breather. He also invited a student doctor into the room after I’d already disrobed — without asking me if it was OK. Then a female nurse came in as a third pair of eyes. I was near tears with all these extra eyes on me and just said, “This is not supposed to feel like this.” The nurse looked at me with sympathetic eyes and held my hand, and I wondered if she thought this was a “normal” pap smear experience.
The birds and the bees talk with my own mother
After that second experience, I realized this may be one of those mother-daughter talks that needed to happen in reverse. I sat my own mother down and told her that pap smears are not supposed to feel this way and she needed to find a new PCP. I explained in detail how much smoother the first one was for me — and for someone with a bare minimum sex history, I am pretty certain someone with two kids should have had a more bearable experience.
Click here to read the full post.
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