Do black men really care about black women’s hair?
Men weigh in on their favorite traits about women
This post was originally published in 2009 on my Chicago Black Hair & Health Examiner column.
I never thought I wanted to be “Best __________” in a high school yearbook until I cut my hair. I’d been playing with the idea freshman year and finally wacked it off sophomore year. I knew how to dye hair, perm hair and was an OK braider.
But once I got the kind of hairstyle you’d see in ’90s hip-hop and R&B magazines (think of Nia Long, Halle Berry and Missy Elliott’s early haircuts), I knew I needed to learn how to maintain it. I did not want to be one of those girls who cut all her hair off and then put a pound of gel on it to mold it to my face until it grew back. So I bought a collection of curling irons, burned the tops of my ears more than a few times, and figured out how to feather and style it. From sophomore year to senior year of high school, I was wrestling to keep my hair neat and stylish.
Recommended Read: “I wrap my hair, deal with it! ~ The odd responses to black women who wear head wraps and scarves”
I didn’t win the “Best Haircut” category in my high school yearbook, but the girl who did earned it. However, I do remember asking a very good friend of mine to vote for me. He looked at my early-stage restyle for a long time and slowly told me, “Yeah, I’m going to vote for [insert winner’s name].” My first thought was, “Well, what’s wrong with my hair?” Then it switched to, “What do you know? You’re a guy anyway.” Women say they do their hair for themselves, but the truth of the matter is we want to look attractive to men, too.
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In 2009, I was the Chicago Black Hair & Health Examiner* columnist for Examiner.com and interviewed men about their favorite traits regarding women. But my real question was, “Do black men really care about hair?” Reading it back 13 years later, so many of the responses still hold true. While the Will Smith slap hadn’t happened at this time, Chris Rock’s comments on black women and hair may raise a few more eyebrows. Read below for the original article and interview as told to me on October 7, 2009.
On Sept. 30, 2009, comedian Chris Rock was on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” talking about his upcoming movie “Good Hair.” Rock was impressed with Oprah Winfrey letting him run his fingers through her long hair and kept repeating, “That’s rich” to her. Oddly, as shocked as he was that Oprah had a full head of healthy, long hair without any weave or extension help, he stated later in the show that black women get their hair done for each other, not men.
Chris Rock went on to say, “Men do not care. There’s no point in the history of the world where men were not sleeping with the women in front of them. Black men don’t care about no hair. Black men care about this.”
He grabbed his butt and then said, “Black men are all about the behind.”
But from Rock’s impressed reaction to Oprah Winfrey’s hair, I wondered if he believed his own words. Do black men really not care about hair as much as he claims? I decided to put it to the test.
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I asked nine black men about the top five physical traits that they look for in a black woman and their view on women’s hair. These were the results (with no coaching on including hair in their top five).
Recommended Read: “BlackTechLogy: Bootleg beauticians ~ Fighting against unlicensed hairstylists, hair damage, hair loss”
The 9 Interviewees ~ By Name and Contact Info ~ Top Five Traits for Women
Name: Alvin B.
Age: 26
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Profession: Graphic designer and deejay for Fig Media
Top five traits: Eyes, lips, breasts, “good proportion” butt, legs
Name: Brandon F.
Age: 21
Location: Boston, Massachusetts
Profession: English educator
Top five traits: Lips, teeth, breasts, legs, hair
Name: Glenn Gamble (pen name)
Age: 28
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Profession: Author of “A Thousand Chances”
Top five traits: Chocolate complexion, “nice, round” derriere, teeth, medium-to-long hair, “sorta thick to thin [because] I don’t like ’em real heavy”
Name: Jeff S.
Age: 37
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Profession: Sales representative with independent cell phone company
Top five traits: Legs, smile, behind, hair, dark brown skin color
Name: Justin M.
Age: 28
Location: Champaign, Illinois
Profession: Owner of real estate company Schwaps
Top five traits: Athletic legs, “proportionate” breasts, teeth, “proportionate” booty, real hair “even if you’re bald-headed”
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Name: Lendsey V.
Age: 34
Location: Chicago
Profession: Security guard, co-owner of unisex barbershop
Top five traits: Smile, clean face, big butts, “no cottage cheese” on legs, long hair
Name: Shuntal W.
Age: 34
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Profession: Accounting clerk
Top five traits: Darker skin complexion, “proportionate” backside, breasts “that don’t make you look like a man and not too big, not too small,” not taller than 6'2 (Shuntal’s height), lips
Name: Stacey L. Moor (pen name)
Age: 29
Location: Central New Jersey
Profession: Author of “It’s Me Again”
Top five traits: Tall women “5'6 or better,” eyes, lips, breasts, legs
Name: Stephen B.
Age: 37
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Profession: Owner of independent cell phone company
Top five traits: Derriere, smooth skin tone, “full” lips, tastefully dressed, neat hair
Black men weigh in on black women’s hair(styles)
Six out of nine men above said “hair” was one of their top five physical traits, and even the ones who didn’t select hair in their top five had strong opinions on hair, not so much the style — just the appearance.
So I asked the following questions:
Would you date a woman who didn’t get her hair professionally done on a regular basis (ex. biweekly or monthly)?
Do you prefer perms to natural hairstyles or short hair to long hair?
Do you think black women get their hair done for men or for themselves?