To this day, I couldn’t tell you why I was so obsessed with crochet ponchos. I had them in every single color and wore them for several years: rose, black, beige, white, grey. It was a cheat code for an outfit. You didn’t have to put too much thought into a plain pair of khakis or jeans, with a long-sleeved tee, because the poncho had “main character energy.” Sure, I could make sure the shoes matched the poncho and complimented it. My favorite was the grey poncho with the grey Timbaland 3.5-inch heels. I got constant compliments on wearing my poncho collection.
That is, until I showed up to a girls’ night party via an invitation from a co-worker friend. I stepped in the door and mingled, munched on a few snacks and beelined for the wine. I knew strippers were coming later, but that’s never really been my thing. I watch from afar, but viewing naked men reminds me of people who look at cooking channels while they’re fasting. What is the point of looking at this sight to behold — to do nothing?
Still, I strolled in with my poncho and was ready to have a good time. I figured somebody might tease me for ducking a lap dance, not my outfit. It didn’t even take an hour before the mean girl energy came up.
“Uh uh, hell no,” an unfamiliar lady said, scowling at me. “She cannot be my partner in Spades. Look at how she’s dressed. She looks too snobby to play Spades. She probably can’t play anyway.”
I raised an eyebrow and made eye contact with the offender. She’d definitely had a couple of drinks, but she struck me as the loud, obnoxious type on her most sober day. I quickly reminded her she did not know me and don’t assume anything about me. She rolled her eyes. I adjusted my poncho. When did ponchos become snobby? If anything, maybe a little Earthy. More Freddie Brooks, less Whitley Gilbert.
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Harvard to the rescue
As entertained as I am by Harvard University Business School students organizing a Spades clinic over the holiday season, with fill-in-the-blank worksheets and refreshments included, this wouldn’t have been a class I needed to take. Apparently, the outfit had this lady fooled.