One Black Woman's Vote: Jess can't fix the mess of The Breakfast Club
Charlamagne tha Oblivious God is turning The Breakfast Club into FOX News
I blame myself for thinking a comedian, Jessica Moore, could fix everything I loathe about The Breakfast Club. And by “everything,” I mean the antics of Charlamagne tha God.
I tapped out on listening to The Breakfast Club when Angela Yee, the third and original woman co-host, was still on the show. Between her incorporating a “my friend” story in every possible scenario, random blabbering about vagina smells in yoga class to Janelle Monae and gossiping about the body count of celebrity women (salute to K. Michelle for checking her in person), I would usually mute Angela Yee when she talked.
But I realized that method never works with Charlamagne, primarily because he talks over everybody. He stopped smelling women’s seats when they left the room (ex. Jennifer Lopez), stopped talking about “sucking a fart out of her butt” regarding attractive women celebrities (ex. Kelly Rowland, Patti Labelle), and stopped salivating over “nubian white queens” (ex. Katy Perry interview, which was oddly removed). He switched to becoming world’s least-convincing mental health advocate while making fun of people who actually have mental health conditions (ex. Tyrese).
I didn’t watch or listen to the show for a couple years, choosing to tolerate Peter Rosenberg on “Ebro In the Morning.” Still, naive me gave The Breakfast Club another shot in 2023 when Angela Yee was gone and the “gusbands” became tolerable.
While Charlamagne interrupting Envy during the “Rumor Report” was agitating, the final straw for me this year is the nonstop interruptions of consultant Tezlyn Figaro. Mind you, 99.9% of “Front Page News” is Tezlyn Figaro summarizing or introducing reporters who actually investigated the news stories, but I still think she’s an improved addition to the show. (I disagreed with her celebration of Jeezy’s divorce and not bringing up Jeannie Mai’s apology about the “dark meat” comment, but we don’t have to agree on everything.) I like her energy regardless.
Still, Charlamagne is ruining this show and others. He has made appearances on legitimate news shows (while telling people not to watch the news) and literally became Uncle Ruckus from “The Boondocks,” gushing over how Trump has “main character energy” and Biden doesn’t. (The irony is “The Boondocks” is one of his top-two shows, and he used to constantly mimic this character.) Watch any “Front Page” news report on The Breakfast Club, and Charlamagne tha Oblivious God finds a way for President Joe Biden or Vice President Kamala Harris to be wrong even if they have nothing to do with Tez’s segments.
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