Please don't write about black hair without Black people weighing in
The millionth reason Black editors are needed before newsroom stories are published
“My black friend isn’t offended by it,” the 20-something Asian woman said to me.
I looked up at her from my desk and shook my head. This is a line that absolutely no one should use. It’s the “one black friend” excuse — that one friend that no one knows but has somehow become justification for every racist thing being said. In this case, I was genuinely hoping that another woman of color would see why a line in a news report was so offensive. She did not — and it was foreshadowing the equal obliviousness of a landlord I later had. Just because someone is a woman of color doesn’t mean she’ll understand your culture.
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As an Amazon affiliate, I earn a percentage from purchases with my referral links. I know some consumers are choosing to boycott Amazon for its DEI removal. However, after thinking about this thoroughly, I choose to continue promoting intriguing products from small businesses, women-owned businesses and (specifically) Black-owned businesses who still feature their items on Amazon. All five of my Substack publications now include a MINIMUM of one product sold by a Black-owned business. (I have visited the seller’s official site, not just the Amazon Black-owned logo, to verify this.) If you still choose to boycott, I 100% respect that decision.
What led to this disagreement? I was browsing through evergreen stories to use in one of our health columns. I read one story and heard a record scratch in my head. The line that led to the record scratch was about black women and their hair:
“Many women pay $40 a week just to get their hair straightened, some people avoid sweating in order to not shower and preserve their hair.”
Never in three decades (at the time) had I ever heard a Black woman claim she wasn’t going to bathe in order to maintain a hairstyle. Maybe she wouldn’t jump in a swimming pool or sign up for a Hi-Fi bicycle class, but boycotting the bathroom altogether? No. I showed the report to a couple of Black women in the newsroom, asking them their thoughts. I was met with raised eyebrows from sistas wearing braids, relaxers and naturals. While we could all justify why health club showers can be a little sketchy, avoiding a shower at home was completely out of the question — post-gym or not.
Recommended Read: “Do black men really care about black women’s hair? ~ Men weigh in on their favorite traits about women”
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Finally, I went to my boss (a white guy slightly older than me) and explained why this line was so offensive. He agreed that it was OK for me to remove that line before the article link circulated across multiple news outlets. And the Asian lady editor? She rolled her eyes and thought I was making a big deal out of nothing. Shortly after, she stormed out of the newsroom without a goodbye.
Writer’s note: At some point, that quote was taken out of the news wire version altogether. However, some news outlets still have the original draft published — to this day — and never took the hint to delete that shower quote.
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A few weeks later, I came across another story that resulted in countless op-eds: the Fright 214 vs Flight 214. And I admittedly didn’t understand why “fright” was racist. But guess who did? The same lady who was dismissive of the anti-shower black hair story. She complained at length about how insensitive it was for a newsroom to not recognize the “l/r” pronunciation gaff when discussing this plane crash. I quietly listened to her — and then I asked her did she not realize the irony in her own complaint. Accusing women of living in filth to keep their hair at a 10-out-of-10 was OK, but a pronunciation blunder? The nerve!