Bullying Funny Marco (or nonviolent black men at all) is wildly corny
The biggest lesson I learned from Milton on "Love Is Blind" that'll never sink in with Southside and G Herbo
I have been in my fair share of verbal arguments. Although it’s nothing to brag about, I’ve been in a few physical fights (excluding kickboxing and other forms of fitness that were very brief hobbies) too. My temperament at the age of 41 is world’s different than my temperament at 21 or even 31. But I can guarantee you if I was ever chill enough during a disagreement to say the following lines, my social circle would ask me if I started smoking weed (again).
“This isn’t Pythagorean theorem going on. This is multidimensional calculus. You’re in an X direction. I’m in a Y direction. We’ll never be in a Z direction. We’re not even adjacent — just like on a different parallel. It’s all perception.”
That’s a modified version of the way Milton from “Love Is Blind” handled what could’ve gotten very angry, very loud and very fast with another castmate Uche. And although his fiancee Lydia was furious while Milton and Uche talked (and Uche was pretty much mad or condescending as hell with everyone besides Milton), I kept holding my breath and thinking, “Please don’t do no clown shit. This is not the platform for two black men to start fighting.”
To my delight, neither one did. As a matter of fact, 24-year-old Milton reacted more calmly and more constructively than I ever have during a disagreement 98% of the time. I was impressed and relieved to see two black men discuss their opinions and go their separate ways. Was it top-tier nerdy? Absolutely. But it was productive, and everybody went home safely without feeling violated. (OK, Lydia and Miriam went home with their heads ready to burst, but that’s not the point of this post.)
The Funny Marco interview that didn’t learn from the Offset interview
That scene, and another big argument Milton had on the show, has been on my mind for the past few days. Mainly, it’s because it took me almost two decades to finally realize at least half of what I’m mad about is not nearly that deep. (I’m still holding grudges about a few things though.) Emotional intelligence may not be his strongest personality trait, but Milton has logic down pat. I wholeheartedly respect black men who can stay on their square (translation: honest but usually calm) and have a sense of humor. Offset is one of many who recently proved how simple this is.
I was already impressed with how Offset handled this other absolutely ridiculous and childish situation. But I kept hearing about how Offset got the best of Tik Tok interviewer Bobbi. My first thought, “Who the hell is Bobbi?” And then I watched the interview and was amused by her dry wit. She reminds me so much of Ziwe, whose self-titled show I also loved. And the Drake/Bobbi interview was just as entertaining (although it’s oddly missing from her YouTube page).
While watching these interviews (along with the Mark Cuban, Tyga and Shaq interviews), I kept hearing about a guy named Funny Marco in the comment section. Zero clue who he was, so I went down the rabbit hole on his interviews: same dry wit, same interview style. And like Offset, everyone in Ziwe’s, Bobbi’s and Funny Marco’s interviews seem to be in on the joke and good naturedly answer their questions. That is, until I got to a recent interview with G Herbo and Southside.
Going right back to what I said about not doing clown shit, I was extremely confused by the way the switch flipped for Southside. The first nine minutes of Southside’s interview with Funny Marco is night and day from the minute G Herbo entered the room. From that point, these two vehemently bullied 30-year-old Funny Marco, who is about as unassuming and unthreatening as Milton and Uche combined. I couldn’t even get through the end of it. It was like watching two schoolyard bullies looking for fame — from grown men ages 28 and 34.
Black men, you’re better than this so act like it!
Somebody is going to ask me, “What does this have to do with race? White boys and white men fight too.”