Never underestimate what your elders can teach you
From word games to self-defense techniques to sewing clothes, here's why you should never underestimate family bonding
Church has never been a place where I was excited to visit — minus a few people sitting in the pews. If my maternal grandmother was finished pinning ribbons on all guests and members who walked into the lobby, I might luck out and get to sit next to her in the front row. She always had butterscotch candy. If she was pinning ribbons, which was most of the time, I’d sit next to my mother instead. But my mother knew that keeping me from daydreaming was going to be a task.
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Some days, I’d play the equivalent of “Where’s Waldo?” and try to find an object or person in the crowd. But every blue moon, I could talk my mother into playing a game of Hangman or Tic Tac Toe with me. These problem-solving games for kids had me hooked. Critical thinking games teach kids to learn to predict outcomes, plan ahead and respond to an opponent's moves. I loved games of strategy versus chance. To this day, me and my mother talk recklessly while playing Motownopoly — and we’ll occasionally play a Motown song while we do it. And she wanted to play Words With Friends so much that I uninstalled the app while she kept on playing.
Recommended Read: “Why are you rating black churches on Yelp? ~ Should churches receive travel reviews?”
While some could argue playing word games (especially Hangman) in church is inappropriate, my mother was more focused on letter-sound relationships and phonics. Any kind of word game for kids was a plus in her book and of interest to my “Baby-Sitters Club,” “Fear Street” and “Ramona” bookworm brain.
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But when I left church, I wasn’t just interested in brain games. I’d go to my neighbor’s house and help her maintain her rose garden. Or, while I was hanging off the back porch banister like a monkey and inhaling second-hand smoke, I was following my grandfather around while he tended to his fruit and vegetable garden. (He would be so annoyed that I mentioned he smoked, but he lived to be 95 and kicked his 50-year smoking habit so kudos to him. He also wouldn’t want me to mention how he taught me to play Blackjack and Poker, and demonstrated how to hold my keys like I was wearing brass knuckles. Too bad. This is my Substack account. I’ll do what I want! Pllllllrp!)
Then there were the days that I’d go to my great great aunt’s house where she (or her daughter) would teach me how to cook some random soul food item. (Over the phone, my great great aunt, who lived to be 100, taught me how to make hot water cornbread to ace a college class. To this day, I still get asked to make hot water cornbread all of the time.)
Then there were the Girl Scout leaders who taught me how to survive outdoors while camping, including making a fire, pitching a tent, and creating functional arts and crafts. My mother, who later became a Girl Scout leader, taught me sewing techniques that I didn’t learn in fashion design class.
When my grandfather wasn’t serving me fiber-rich food and teaching me women’s self-defense techniques, I was learning a wealth of information from middle-aged and older women. This week, all of these family memories came flooding back to me while re-pinning a bunch of artwork on Pinterest and reading this post about girls in Fullerton, California.
Programs like Golden Connections Club aren’t just beneficial for the girls though.