When did not knowing how to act in public become so normal?
The Chicago Red Line ride that made me reevaluate my opinion on "Mornings With Mero" about hard women and soft men
Are men getting softer and women harder? I thought that was such a peculiar question to ask on Hot 97’s “Mornings With Mero.” But 48 hours later, I was sitting on a Chicago Red Line train and trying to ignore a grown man laying straight across five seats with his legs spread eagle in the air like a scene from a porno.
Eventually, he put his legs down. Then he switched to twisting onto his side while holding his phone in the air. He sat up. He laid down again. He did this at least four times. It reminded me of the time when my (now 27-year-old) nephew was about 5 or 6 years old and kept hanging his head off the seat to look behind him.
I firmly tapped him after the third time he hung his head off the seat, told him to stop acting like Gumby and sit up straight. Two decades later, I don't think I could pay him to sit like the guy on the train in front of me. He's way too reserved, way too chill, sorta like a combination of Jay Z and (for the Peanuts fans) Joe Cool. Also, I’ve sat down in urine on a Red Line train before, thinking it was rainwater. Who in their right mind gets this comfortable on public transportation?
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But watching Spread Eagle made me wonder if anybody in his life ever told him this is not how grown men should sit on public transportation. I shrugged, turned on Wale’s “Everything Is a Lot” and bobbed my head while I started checking work emails on my smartphone.
On the way back home on the Red Line, I heard a 20-something man yell out, “Leave me alone, grasshopper.” A maniacal laugh and a few curse words followed. Shortly after, another man shouted out, “Can anybody gimme your number? I'm trying to f**k” to anyone listening.
Then a few other men in their 20s got on the train, one of which kept pacing and opening a connecting door from one train car to another. I was used to this happening with people selling candy, socks, essential oils and random hygiene products, but he was just going in and out of cars for fun. By the third time, I got off at the next stop and jogged to enter the next train car. Not even five minutes into riding on a new car, I heard two men yelling and cursing at each other on the train platform and one marched away from the train.
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It turned out one guy got mad at another guy and sprayed pepper spray in his face. When the sprayer realized train conductors and security was trying to get him, he jogged off the train, hopped down on the tracks and hid there, immediately resulting in the train having to stop and everyone inside (but me and about five other people) got off and waited until he climbed back onto the tracks.
While I was on this train and headed to a plasma donation center, I was speechless at the immaturity of so many men at once — and in the early afternoon. If this is what they're like between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m., what could they possibly be like by evening hours? Even in my 20s and 30s, brothas my age were (usually) not acting like this in public. What the hell is going on with Gen Z?
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I went back to thinking about that Hot 97 question and completely changed my answer. Are women getting harder because they're dealing with men who either never grew up or didn't have role models to teach them how to act? From this one day of riding, it sadly seemed like it. For two decades of working in Corporate America, riding the train was a daily ritual. Working from home has made me mildly spoiled and protected from the nonsense. I might see one or two weirdos during the very rare el ride, but this was the most chaotic two rides in my entire life.
If you cannot behave on a train ride from Point A to Point B, how are you going to survive a job? College? Taxes? Fatherhood? Homeownership? I'm genuinely worried, but I have 10 tips to try to rectify this trainwreck.