I grew up on 2 Live Crew songs but knew not to twerk in restaurants
True Kitchen + Kocktails restaurateur wants guests to stay in their seats
I’m grown as hell. I’m a 39-year-old Millennial who grew up in the middle of breakdancing (or “breaking”), a decade after hip-hop was introduced, before the Internet was a thing and knows the AOL modem dial-up sound when I hear it. But I’m fairly confident that at my mortgage-paying age, if I were to stand up on the seat of a restaurant table, put my hands on the glass and start twerking my ass around anyone who knew me personally, I would be yanked down onto my seat like a child. And if my parents were anywhere around, I would surely be met with, “We raised you better than this. Get it together.”
So I am genuinely perplexed by the outrage focused on Kevin Kelley, the owner of Dallas restaurant True Kitchen Kocktails. Described as “restaurant suicide” and “misogynistic,” my first thought while watching this video was what made a restaurateur let loose like this on the whole restaurant?
But after reading this Facebook post, I had a better understanding of what actually happened (from his viewpoint). To sum it up, women at three tables in his restaurant were privately asked to stop twerking. Even after being spoken to 10 minutes before this final stunt, one woman stood on the restaurant booth seats, put her hands on the glass window and started twerking on the glass. But somehow he’s become the villain in a story about real-life people who literally do not know how to keep their asses on the seats and actually just focus on eating — in a restaurant. According to Eater, the song that inspired the dancing was rapper Lil Ronny MothaF’s “Circle (Throw Dat Ass In A Circle).”
Now is the music choice questionable for a restaurant that appears to prefer class over ass? Sure, specifically considering guests cannot even wear clothes with explicit words or visuals. But I’ve been to enough black-owned restaurants over the years (Chicago’s Karyns on Green and casual spots like Quentin Love’s Quench are the ones I miss the most) to understand that no matter how much the music speaks to me, if I wouldn’t stand on my own table or chairs at home, I’m damn sure not going to do it in a restaurant — that is open during a COVID-19 epidemic. (Why so many are maskless is still throwing me off.)
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I know the words to just about every 2 Live Crew song there is, I can easily rap along to Akinyele’s “Just Put It In Ya Mouth,” and have thrown it back at my fair share of college parties when Juvenile’s “Back That Ass Up” and Mystikal’s “Shake Ya Ass” blasted through the speakers. I am not overly prudish. But never would it ever occur to me to do this in a sit-down restaurant — specifically one that bans sagging pants, caps, durags, tank tops, bodysuits, jerseys and yoga outfits. Kelley has clearly set the tone.
The complaints geared toward the owner accuse him of misogyny (as if couth is the enemy), self-hate (as though manners must be the mark of “massa” only), music choices (completely bypassing self-control — and now making me wonder do all of these people pull over in the middle of the street every single time a twerking song comes on their radios) and not knowing how to be discreet (bypassing that these women reportedly were asked to stop twerking in this place multiple times).
But let’s say you think I’m bourgeoisie or a snob. I have a family full of women who can dance their asses off (literally) and some friends that can challenge you at a moment’s notice. But never not ever did any of them feel like they absolutely couldn’t control themselves long enough to eat a meal without the look-at-me fixation taking over their bodies. Even in my most rebellious years in high school and college, I did not need this kind of extra attention from onlookers.
The video does appear to show the owner berating the entire restaurant as opposed to the three tables who had been warned, but I think he sent a clear message: “If you don’t know how to act, you’re not welcome here.” And that is the kind of restaurant that I want to be in. If I was in Dallas — and brave enough to sit down in a restaurant a third time this year — this would be the exact place I’d want to frequent for drinks. (I’d suggest a few vegetarian items on True Kitchen + Kocktails menu, or ditch the smoked turkey on the black eyed peas and collard greens.) But for social media users who are more outraged at the owner for expecting customers to practice the most basic manners, White Castle, Burger King and McDonald’s parking lots are surely nearby. Go there instead.
We have got to do better. Seriously.
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