Finding pretty dark-skinned girls is not equivalent to finding Waldo
Marques Houston, if Redman, Ne-Yo and Nelly can find them, so can you
I didn’t even get a week to enjoy it. That was what I was thinking when I saw Marques Houston trending on Twitter. I’d been all giddy seeing an interview with one-third of my favorite boy band group on “R&B Money” and was reliving my childhood music memories about Immature. I’d heard the uproar here and there about him meeting his wife when she was 17 years old.
Recommended Read: “‘R&B Money’ podcast brings back my fangirl days of Immature ~ The podcast I didn’t know I needed to show respect to R&B legends”
But five years later, I just wasn’t interested in griping over the 41-year-old being married to a 22-year-old. Whether he justifies it with their mutual love for Jehovah or “youthful” spirit is none of my concern. My crush was 80% on Romeo and 20% on LDB* so I honestly just didn’t care about his love life.
While I breezed past angry comment after angry comment regarding him complaining about single mothers and women “with baggage,” it reminded me too much of Chris Rock’s anti-grown-woman rants. I’d already griped about the comedian and wasn’t interested in going down that same path with the R&B crooner.
Recommended Read: “Chris Rock: Women-hating men will never understand Will Smith ~ Why ‘Selective Outrage’ further confirms Chris Rock is bitter about women”
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Then I got to the end of the Page Six post and read this quote: “In the Immature days, we [would] have light-skinned girls in our music videos. Then people would question… ‘Why can’t you get a black girl?’ And then it’s like, ‘Oh yeah, I only like light-skinned girls.’ Then the plus-size girls will come and get me. I was like, ‘Man, I can’t catch a break.”
I blinked. I read this quote again. Then I read it a third time. The same guy who was on “R&B Money” repeatedly bringing up being phone-chatting close with Beyonce is somehow acting like finding dark-skinned pretty girls is tougher than finding Carmen Sandiego and Waldo. How on Earth does the same guy who knows Beyonce’s best friend who lived with her somehow find this difficult?
Nelly figured out how to get in touch with her.
Remy Ma figured out how to find dark-skinned women for a video.
Ne-Yo had his eye on Gabby in “Miss Independent” and his early days in “Stay.”
And Redman was so adamant about getting plus-sized girls in his videos that he pulled out a broom to get rid of the skinny ones long before Lizzo was on the scene.
Just admit you don’t want to find dark-skinned girls
When Robin Thede was (sarcastically) asked by Roy Wood Jr. how she found all these funny black women—a grand mystery for casting directors on shows like “Saturday Night Live”—to be on her show “A Black Lady Sketch Show,” she responded by saying she found them by … OPENING HER EYES.
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Recommended Read: “Light skin, light eyes, dark outlook ~ How colorism made me more attracted to dark-skinned men”
And that’s pretty much where I’m at with casting directors and music artists who act like this is a tough thing to do. Diversity hiring for some sounds like me struggling to pass trigonometry class, and I’m not buying it. If you don’t want to find dark-skinned girls, plus-size girls or dark-skinned, plus-sized girls, just admit it. If they’re not your type and colorism is your casting choice, just be honest with yourself.
Recommended Read: “Productively teaching black children about colorism ~ When I found out my cousin favored light-skinned women”
You know your fans come in all shapes and sizes. You know they would like to be reflected in the video of you selling this dream of being an R&B lady’s man. But you still choose to only cater to a select few. That’s your (self-hating) right. But my gawd, just stop acting like they all went to the Bermuda Triangle. I see these women on a daily basis. And like Robin Thede, my eyes work too, and so do yours!
* A small part of me wonders if I may have subconsciously been way too into the light-skinned guy with the light eyes. As an adult, Kelton “LDB” Keese is hands down the finest of the three. He grew up and showed out!
Did you enjoy this post? You’re also welcome to check out my Substack columns “Black Girl In a Doggone World,” “BlackTechLogy,” “Homegrown Tales,” “I Do See Color,” “One Black Woman’s Vote,” “Tickled,” “We Need To Talk” and “Window Shopping” too. Subscribe to this newsletter for the weekly posts every Wednesday.
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