"I Do See Color" weekly newsletter: April 26, 2023
Weekly newsletter 30: Combination of race- and culture-related posts from "We Need to Talk," "I Do See Color," "BlackTechLogy," "Homegrown Tales" and "Window Shopping"
Welcome to the “I Do See Color” newsletter (with a bonus section of two first-person interviews called “Deuces”).
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Now let’s get into the weekly newsletter!
Each week, eight carefully selected posts will be chosen, which focus on culture, politics, health and race from a black (wo)man’s perspective.
NEW! 1. Finding pretty dark-skinned girls is not equivalent to finding Waldo ~ Marques Houston, if Redman, Ne-Yo and Nelly can find them, so can you
I didn’t even get a week to enjoy it. That was what I was thinking when I saw Marques Houston trending on Twitter. I’d been all giddy seeing an interview with one-third of my favorite boy band group on “R&B Money” and was reliving my childhood music memories about Immature. I’d heard the uproar here and there about him meeting his wife when she was 17 years old.
But five years later, I just wasn’t interested in griping over the 41-year-old being married to a 22-year-old. My crush was 80% on Romeo and 20% on LDB so I honestly just didn’t care about his love life. Still, I read his interview on Page Six and was perplexed by this quote: “In the Immature days, we [would] have light-skinned girls in our music videos. Then people would question… ‘Why can’t you get a black girl?’ And then it’s like, ‘Oh yeah, I only like light-skinned girls.’ Then the plus-size girls will come and get me. I was like, ‘Man, I can’t catch a break.”
2. 10 hard lessons I learned as a black journalist ~ My love-hate relationship with the news industry
This week, the media is getting an annual job evaluation, and it’s the first time I’ve ever looked forward to hearing one. Whether you’re an avid listener of Roy Wood Jr.’s “Beyond the Scenes” or Jon Stewart’s “The Problem With Jon Stewart,” it’s somewhere between frustrating and satisfying to hear women journalists and black journalists (“Beyond the Scenes” had both) talk about their lived experiences in broadcasting and news print.
I listened to their conference room stories and live conversations, and I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about them at first. Unfortunately, I could relate to some of their worst memories. Fortunately, I could also smile and feel all warm, thinking of some of their best memories. While I still use my journalism background on an everyday basis (although Medium and Substack are mainly used for op-eds) for private clients, I can’t say I miss traditional newsrooms. I’m glad I was in them and learned a ton of information to pay my bills nowadays, but there are some moments in time that I could’ve done without.
3. Now I know why white people hate talking about race and racism ~ ‘The Problem With Jon Stewart’ showed me what Thanksgiving is like in white households
I listened to “The Problem With White People” first and thought Jon Stewart was onto something. That is, until I got to this video of him with sociology professor Charles “Chip” Gallagher, activist Lisa Bond of Race2Dinner and editor Andrew Sullivan. Damn near everything that could go wrong did go wrong.
A panelist latched onto semantics for so long that he didn’t bother paying attention to the words “the system of” before the phrase “white supremacy” and somehow dedicated all of racism to the Ku Klux Klan.
A panelist, who is an immigrant, is such a cheerleader for the United States of America that he just cannot get past the idea that everyone doesn’t have their pom poms out, shaking them about: “Yay, tolerance! Yay, diversity! Yay, multi-culturalism!”
And so on.
4. When black men protect black women ~ Overlooking the larger request from the #ProtectBlackWomen hashtag after the Will Smith slap
It was way too hot outside on the West Side of Chicago, and for some reason, I decided not to eat ahead of time. I was excited to hang out with a friend and go to an Aaliyah concert. Because I’m short (5'3) and she’s the height of your average model, I ditched her to try to get a better view. She and her two equally tall cousins were fine where they were standing and could see the stage. All I could see was butts and backs while my teenaged body just wanted room to do the choreography to “One In a Million.”
While DJ Kool was rapping “Let Me Clear My Throat” as the opening act, I wiggled my way to a great spot toward the front. I was dancing and singing along — until the heat decided to be a hater. I blinked repeatedly trying to snap out of it but felt the outside world swirling around me. This was the first and only time I’d ever felt like I was going to faint. I went from thinking everything was spinning around me to knowing it was me who was spinning.
5. Mainstream America, the whole nation doesn’t have your entertainment tastes ~ My most unimportant tweet has gotten the most attention
As a Twitter user since 2008, there are two things that I know will happen — the most unimportant tweets on my timeline will get the most attention and I’m too argumentative to let people get away with talking spicy to me in the comment section. The latter has been a factor in entirely too many of my weekends. Why people never argue with me on weekdays is beyond me, but that lawyer who lives inside of my head rent-free just cannot control herself. She must respond until she loses interest and starts blocking users.
But my latest Twitter debate rubs me wrong for a different reason. It’s a complicated one that will more than likely split opinions among (largely white) people. The topic: 50-year-old Amanda Peet. Do you know her? I didn’t. I haven’t seen one film with her in it nor did I know her face. She’s got the kind of face that makes me think she may be in something, but she’s definitely an actress I would walk by without giving a second glance.
6. How comfortable are you with having a black woman boss? ~ Criticism from women hits harder in the workplace
I should have gone with my gut instinct. I knew something was off after the mock interview ended, but I ignored that part of my brain and hired him anyway. White, older than me and with a wealth of experience, he seemed like the perfect hire for a new team of writers. His resume was impeccable. His background was top-notch. I was quite proud of my new hire. Even during the mock interview to observe his interviewing style, I kept thinking, “We have a winner!” I hired him.
Then the interview was completed and the offer was sent. Not even two minutes afterward, he started using words like “tough” to describe me. I raised an eyebrow. While I was discussing the company background and work needed, he redirected to analyzing my personality. I didn’t know him personally nor professionally before that interview. I asked where this descriptor came from. He told me he’d read prior reviews that I’d given to other freelancers. I went back through my reviews and theirs, reading them word-by-word, still agreeing with every word I typed and agreeing with theirs too (including a few critiques). I never saw the word “tough.”
7. Light skin, light eyes, dark outlook ~ How colorism made me more attracted to dark-skinned men
“Simon says dance in place.”
“Simon says pat your head.”
“Simon says kiss the person next to you.”
I was playing this childhood game with expertise, knowing when and when not to follow the commands. The two teachers’ assistants were entertained watching us, and I was having a blast while our teacher ran an errand. But when the teenage girls made that last request, I froze. The boy next to me smiled and leaned over for a kiss. I ducked and took off running around the room, trying to get away from him. I pulled out chairs and yanked on other students to slow him down.
8. NEW! When did men twerking become gay? ~ And other problems I have with the Fun Police for men
I’ve written about “Love Is Blind” far too many times already (one, two, three, four) and planned to stop, but the leaked texts from Jackelina Bonds regarding Marshall Glaze have caught my interest, specifically this one — “He fosho gives me vibes cause he use to twrk on the bed & I told him I was coo off that & he was like yeah. So now this time I told him to be more aggressive with me. He’s hard fosho but sometimes he can be SWEET.”
Let’s put aside the historical parallels of fraternity members stepping. Let’s act like we don’t know he’s in Alpha Phi Alpha and just look at him as a man — a black man. If Marshall twerking makes her think he’s “sweet,” I’m guessing every stripper she’s ever seen must be unsettling. Show me a male stripper who doesn’t know how to shake his ass, and I’ll show you one very boring bachelorette party.
“Deuces” ~ “I Do See Color” newsletter’s bonus interviews:
1. “Chicago Publicist Learns The Business Of Connections In The PR Field,” CBS Chicago, December 22, 2014
Publicists and journalists often work hand in hand. It may seem ironic then that one job industry is slowly decreasing in pay while the other gained an edge. According to Pew Research Center, the pay rate continues to widen between the two. In 2004, for every $1 earned for a PR specialist, that was $0.71 for a reporter. In 2013, the reporter ratio decreased to $0.65. Having a business background to start and maintain a business doesn't hurt for a PR rep either.
Rachel Green, the CEO of a Chicago public relations firm called A Brand Called U, wanted to complete her mother's dream of Green earning a college degree. She earned an undergraduate degree in business management from Robert Morris University and is currently working on a master's degree in business management/marketing.
2. “Volunteering Leads To A Fulfilling Career For A Chicago Nurse,” CBS Chicago, December 29, 2014
For job seekers trying to find employment, it may seem odd for employers to encourage volunteerism. Job seekers are not necessarily looking to work for free; but according to Forbes, volunteer work is one of the top 10 tasks that over 3,000 managers felt would make an applicant more marketable.
Volunteer work may also lead applicants in the direction of their final career path. Just ask Teria Mullin, a certified registered nurse anesthetist, who is currently a contract worker for Silver Cross Hospital in New Lenox, Illinois.
Mullin, CRNA, MS, received her bachelor's degree in nursing from Tennessee State University, earned a Master of Science degree for nurse anesthesia from DePaul University in Chicago, and has been a nurse since 2003. But she started her career doing volunteer work.
Did you enjoy this post? You’re also welcome to check out my Substack columns “Black Girl In a Doggone World,” “BlackTechLogy,” “Homegrown Tales,” “I Do See Color,” “One Black Woman’s Vote,” “Tickled,” “We Need To Talk” and “Window Shopping” too. Subscribe to this newsletter for the weekly posts every Wednesday.
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