Documentation is key for reporting a racist neighbor
From suspicious violations to volatile verbal and written messaging, recognize the signs of gaslighting from condo owners and board members
I couldn't put my finger on what was “off” when I first met him. I was walking toward the trash area in the parking lot when a condo association member immediately lectured me about what goes in a recycle bin. It was almost comical to hear as someone who participated in a dance video about keeping clothes out of landfills, who earned side money from first grade to high school by crushing and recycling pop cans at a local recycling facility, who checks the numbers on the bottom of all plastic before putting it in my cardboard recycling container, and who took a fashion design class to reuse and repair damaged clothing. I'm an unapologetical Black woman who is also about as green as Shrek.
Initially I misread him as a little high-strung around women, specifically after seeing a tense interaction between him and a Bolivian woman who I’d become friendly with. I second-guessed what I was initially assuming was racism: How could a Brown man be racist against a Hispanic woman? Sexism, maybe?
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He wasn't a white guy, but I couldn't quite narrow down his race. His last name sounded Spanish, but my Bolivian friend shot down any Latin American name origin. He definitely was not Asian nor Native. I shrugged. I gave up on guessing.
Still, he somehow seemed to be oblivious to all mirrors clearly showing his toffee brown complexion. It wasn't until I was around him (involuntarily) a little longer that I noticed his frustration always seemed to be attacking Black people (usually women), Asian people (mainly men), LGBTQ+ people and middle-aged white women. The only woman he seemed to like had the same better-than-you energy, and he was thick as thieves with this Hispanic woman. Once again, I second-guessed the racism and sexism. If he’s this cool with a Hispanic woman, how could he be sexist?
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It was like observing a tanned Archie Bunker. He liked his “Edith” but seemed to have issues with everyone else. As a condominium owners association (COA) member, I regularly watched him instigate arguments between people of color and consistently back down when white men were around. Sexism and racism seemed to be mixed in with colorism, and it wasn't until he and I had a public and LOUD confrontation that I could nail it down.
This brown-skinned man called a Black woman (me) “roadkill,” a “Black bitch” and a “bald-headed bitch” when the arguments had zero to do with hair or race. His choice of words spoke volumes. Then, there was the time he told a Mexican man that someone had to have helped him with his well-written email in English. Another time he told an Indian man with a master’s degree that he needed to “learn English or figure it out.” The fourth offense was him sending a GIF of a curly haired man waving to the camera and shortly after spreading rumors that another owner was gay.
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But no matter how offensive he was, he always reminded everyone in the room that he had a lawyer. It was like he’d perfected how to be offensive and have an attorney back up his chaos at every turn. For COAs and homeowners associations (HOAs), this type of behavior was the perfect example of why you should always take notes when a COA or HOA board treats certain people unfairly while making discrimination look “legal.”