Is it racism or are you being a spoiled celebrity?
I still love TLC's music but I stand by my comment to T-Boz about Ruth's Chris Steak House
Never in a zillion years did I think I would be at odds with Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins from TLC. I’ve been listening to TLC’s music throughout my entire childhood. I even had to pick between my pouting prom date and the dance floor when “No Scrubs” came on. (The irony is he literally fit none of the description of a scrub — from having a rental and a car and a job — but still hated the song.)
When one of my old bosses thought the topic of sickle cell anemia was unimportant and didn’t know much about TLC, I refused to back down about writing this piece. This music icon brought attention to a health topic that needed more exposure.
And even after she blocked me on Instagram, my recent opinion remains the same and I’m still gonna keep my TLC music playlist.
If you follow her on Instagram, you’ve probably seen this post about her being mad at an Illinois restaurant called Ruth’s Chris Steak House. Short version of the story: She was upset that a restaurant host asked her to take her cap off because of the restaurant’s dress code.
Instead of doing so, she acted exactly like several men I’ve seen arrive at “no gym shoes/no sneakers” night clubs and throw a full-blown tantrum about Jordans and Timberlands. Not only did she not “feel like” taking off her cap or combing her hair in the bathroom, but she then outed a black man who also had his cap on and had finished his meal.
Again, as an absolute fan of the group, I winced at the social media post. It initially reminded me of Sheryl Lee Ralph being self-righteous about Delta Airlines not letting her show up late regardless of everybody else on the plane having somewhere to be. This was coming across like Aretha Franklin used to treat Debra Lee. This is not giving "cool” in “crazy sexy cool.” It is giving “entitled.” It is also giving, “I’m snitching cause I can’t get what I want.”
I read a few comments from all these new gripers about Ruth’s Chris Steak House (been in Chicago for four decades and never heard of it), how she’s a legend and how they should’ve been glad she would enter their restaurant. I’ve written countless stories about legitimate racist experiences in everything from grocery stores to universities, so I’m never holding my tongue if I see it. I went to the restaurant’s website, admittedly ready to pick a fight and defend T-Boz.
That is, until I read the restaurant’s dress code clear as day.
At Ruth’s Chris we promote a comfortable, family friendly and welcoming atmosphere for everyone. We ask Guests to support this atmosphere by not wearing
Clothing with offensive graphics or language
Exposed undergarments, cut-off shorts and tank tops
We kindly ask all Guests to remove hats when entering
Hats and team support jerseys are welcome in our bar and patio areas
*Please note our dress code may vary by location or region. Please call your local Ruth’s Chris for additional details.
If this hadn’t been on their website, I could’ve vouched for her. I wouldn’t have “liked” the comment from the brotha who told her to go to Burger King if the cap was that important, or the sista who also pointed out that restaurant dress codes are common.
I could’ve said Ruth’s Chris Steak House was being a bully and ignored T-Boz’s “ho ass ho” rant about the host for doing her job. But I’d just heard Trevor Noah’s “If I Ruled the World” podcast episode about people picking on waiters in restaurants for not being the epitome of good customer service. (I don’t exactly agree with him here and do think you should be polite.) Hospitality workers have to deal with difficult customers on a daily basis. Some of those hospitality workers are absolute assholes to customers — and sometimes it’s the other way around.
The restaurant host wasn’t wrong here though. If that’s the restaurant’s policy, that’s their policy. And T-Boz pointing out a black man who had his cap on and ignored their rule isn’t going to change it. If anything, this creates a domino effect where the next person with a cap on comes in and says, “Well, if she has a cap on, why can’t I wear one too?” Both parties were wrong.
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My mixed opinions on dress codes overall
I have always had mixed opinions about dress codes though, primarily because I remember my own paternal grandmother getting kicked out of my maternal grandmother’s church because she was wearing pants. As soon as my maternal grandmother passed away, my mother stopped going to her church and I couldn’t’ve been more elated to get away from the sexism in that dress code.
And I do remember the quiet look of embarrassment from my father’s mother, who’d done nothing wrong. She just wore what was “normal” to her at her own church. My mother’s mother apologized for not warning her about the no-pants policy. To my astonishment, my father’s mother asked my mom to bring her back to that church and switched to a skirt. Meanwhile, I would’ve thrown up my elementary school aged deuces, never to be seen again. To my grandmother, if this is the dress code, you either follow it or go elsewhere.
Recommended Read: “Why are you rating black churches on Yelp? ~ Should churches receive travel reviews?”
I wanted to be on T-Boz’s side, but in all the years that I was baffled by my grandmother’s decision, I finally get where she is coming from. She didn’t create social media posts, start calling the bishops or the deacons out of their name, or start dissecting the church crowd to make a point about why she should be able to stay. She voluntarily came to this business and was either going to follow their guidelines or find something else to do on Sunday. (Personally, I’d have been fine with going to brunch.)
Then comes the block
Unfortunately, my comment about the restaurant having a dress code led to T-Boz blocking me on Instagram. It took me a few days to realize this because I’m on Bluesky and Pinterest way more than browsing on Instagram. I can’t recall exactly why I went to her page, but it had something to do with a dance routine.
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So now I’m gonna say what I really wanted to say and held back out of respect for her (and my fandom). In over two decades, I have not seen this pop star voice one moment of protest against racism, sexism, women’s rights, support for any politician or even support for the Black Lives Matter movement. Not one single solitary word about a slew of black women and men who have been profiled, beaten and killed for a broad range of unnecessary moments.
Minus briefly telling Larry King in 2017 that she didn’t like Donald Trump when she was on “The Apprentice,” I haven’t heard one iota of a word against his vile and racist antics the entire four years he was president — or now. Not a peep about the Capitol Riot. Damn sure nothing about the Obamas or current VP Kamala Harris running. And she sounded like Trump while complaining to Cam Newton about getting a COVID-19 vaccine.
But now this 54-year-old woman can’t wear a cap in a restaurant, and it’s full protest mode and blocking fans who said they still have love for you? Seriously? That’s what we’re doing? A’ight then.
Recommended Read: “Know the end goal first before joining any activism group ~ When marching and protesting don’t add up to results”
Be careful about the celebrities you start fighting on behalf of. If you’ve never heard them speak up about any other equal rights issue since 1994, you have to wonder is it really about wanting everybody to be treated equally? Or, is it about a celebrity being mad she wasn’t coddled for being famous and conveniently using racism because she’s mad?
Racism happens every single day to black women, black men and other minority groups. So when I see it, I say something. But the price of your cap and not wanting to go to a bar is not a struggle; it’s just you being hangry.
Did you enjoy this post? You’re also welcome to check out my Substack columns “Black Girl In a Doggone World,” “BlackTechLogy,” “Homegrown Tales,” “I Do See Color,” “One Black Woman’s Vote” and “Window Shopping” too. Subscribe to this newsletter for the weekly posts every Wednesday.
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