When you've never experienced racism but are an expert
Courtesy of your college roommate and that one relative who dates hockey players
Writer’s note: This post was originally published on Medium’s “We Need to Talk.”
Lately, I’ve been considering taking Luke Richardson’s job. You may not know him by name, but he’s the head coach for the Chicago Blackhawks. If he makes a big fuss about it, maybe I’ll just apply for the assistant coach positions and take over for Kevin Dean, Derek King or Derek Plante. I’m sure they’ll understand.
You see, I only live 9.4 miles away from the front office for the Blackhawks. Therefore, I’m close. I can drive there easily. Living on the North Side of Chicago, I’ve encountered quite a few people who like hockey. Can I play? No. Have I ever played? No. Do I know the rules? No. Have I been to a game? No. Am I physically in the shape to be one? No. But I’ve been around people who like hockey at work, so I’m qualified to discuss it. Human Resources hired them anyway, so I may as well make the best use of their time at the coffee maker. They don’t quite understand why I keep bringing up hockey when they’re just looking for cream and sugar, but I’m not going to stop. I have to sharpen my expertise!
Then there was that one time in college when I had a roommate who played rugby. Kibin talks about the main three differences between rugby and hockey, but blah blah blah, I know enough because of my friend in college — who taught me everything there is to know about sports. And of course, one of my relatives then dated that one girl who played hockey.
1 + 1 = Genius at the topic
I don’t know why ESPN hasn’t called me yet either. I gave them my phone number. Being in proximity to those two makes me double the expert. I told my rugby friend all about how informed I am about hockey. She gave me a funny look because I’ve never actually been a hockey player or experienced the sport. But once she told me about a few of her instances on the rugby field, it made me the authority on all things hockey. She found that hard to believe. Rugby and hockey are basically interchangeable, amiright?! Who cares about the rules or the players. She tried to explain anyway. I walked away. She talks too much.