Kim Fields and Joey Lawrence made me throw in the towel on 'Brotherly Love' podcast
Never downplay your blackness to make white people feel comfortable
Writer’s note on September 12, 2024: I still respect TLC as a group, regardless of T-Boz blocking me this week on Instagram after her temper tantrum over not wearing a cap in an Illinois restaurant that clearly says “no caps” on its website. I copied and pasted the one liner in the restaurant dress code, and I guess that was too much like right for her. Not one word of protest or support about all the legal, political and BLM issues over the past decade, but a restaurant host asking her to move her cap was injustice? Girl please.
Writer’s note on January 3, 2024: The ‘90s baby in me is rooting for Chilli and Matthew Lawrence. They’re a gorgeous couple. But I’ve completely tapped out on the “Brotherly Love” podcast. I popped back in to watch a few more episodes because it used to be a fun Friday routine. Can’t deal.
I’m tired of the oldest two interrupting Andrew Lawrence like he’s not a grown ass man. Once Matthew Lawrence said he “feels sorry for” his youngest brother for not wanting to hear about religion or science, I cringed. Everybody is NOT religious nor wants to hear random UNscientific facts that he read online. I was open to bitcoin stories, but the preaching is irritating. The disrespect toward his brother is worse. (And that Justin Timberlake story was corny as hell. I cringe at how he’d act around Usher.) I’m still hoping Chilli found her “forever” man, and I will forever respect TLC. If Andrew gets his own separate podcast, I’ll watch! Bring Tom Arnold on it (again). But this podcast? Nope!
I’ve always had a bone to pick with ghostwriting. It just doesn’t make any sense to me to ask someone else to write every word of your article (or book) but then slap your name on it. It’s like getting paid to cheat. But there was one time where I was absolutely happy I’d (grudgingly) taken on a ghostwriting job.
A former boss wanted me to write a story about students coming together to celebrate a multiculturalism graduate program. I wrote the story in such a way that the theme was “the melting pot” in the United States. When I submitted it to a faculty member at that university to approve it under his byline, he immediately rewrote the the whole thing.
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I was offended at first, wondering why I wasted my time writing it if he was going to rewrite it anyway. I called him. And he (a Hispanic LGBTQ+ man) said he had a problem with “the melting pot” theme. To paraphrase, he said the only people who want to blend everybody together and not celebrate us for our differences are people who are uncomfortable with anyone different from them. I smiled a mile long.
This is exactly how I feel about the “don’t call me black” or “I don’t see color” crew. I tweaked the story here and there, got his approval on the rewritten copy, explained to my manager (a white woman from a small white town) why it was rewritten entirely differently from what she wanted, and she hesitantly accepted the newer version. After all, how was she going to reject her own client’s rewrite? What he actually wrote is the way I would’ve written the article under my own byline. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being different.
Recommended Read: “Undisputed pride in Blackness ~ My take on the Harlem Renaissance, Langston Hughes, Bernie Mac and beyond”
Chilli + Matthew = My teen heart fluttering
The teenager in me absolutely wants to love the “Brotherly Love” podcast. I have always thought Matthew Lawrence was gorgeous. And then for him to be dating one of my favorite pop/R&B stars, the TLC music legend Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas, made my “Bop!”- and “Tiger Beat”-reading heart skip a beat.
I slept on their relationship news for half a year before I just so happened to spot a dance video of them this summer. The significance still didn’t click. I read the comments, and my eyes lit up. From that point forward, I binge-listened to the “Brotherly Love” podcast and watched a few interviews. I was as invested in getting up to speed on this trio (already occasionally kept tabs on TLC updates) as I was during my magazine wall poster years.
Watching these childhood stars as grown-ups was going to be amazing because I was around their same page (older than Andrew, slightly younger than Matthew). Team Matthew as I already was, seeing that he posted a “Black Lives Matter” message on Instagram was a relief. Not only was he in an interracial dating relationship, and I had no clue he was even into black women, but he picked a pretty chocolate woman (who is oddly convinced she’s “caramel”) at that and understood the BLM fight going on since its founding in 2013. Win win!
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And then there was Joey …
Although I was pretty indifferent to Joey Lawrence, me and my childhood friend were all about Blossom and Six, so we knew who he was. I didn’t follow his career over the years, so I was none the wiser about his pro-Trump, anti-Obama political opinions. Regardless of that, I still enjoyed getting up to speed with the Lawrence brothers (and Andrew had become quite the looker).
After a handful of episodes, my big grin on Friday mornings was turning into a scowl. Joey Lawrence keeps bragging about how famous he was, talking about his hair and aging. It’s like listening to a mid-life crisis on repeat.
I was growing tired of Matt bringing up The Rock, as if the former wrestler is a stone-cold criminal. And while big-upping Tom Cruise’s longevity and box office hits make sense, these two don’t seem to have a clue who Denzel Washington is. (And the only time Will Smith gets brought up is because of the Oscar slap, not his resume.) Still, I was invested and determined to like this podcast.
I ignored the snarky jab from Joey about Matt loving his new Diva! detergent (9:22 mark, very cute story), and how it must’ve been their mother who did his laundry instead of Chilli. Older brothers will be older brothers and ruin cute stories. (I speak from experience.) But the more I listen to this podcast, and the more oblivious he (and a little bit from Matt) are to other things going on in the ‘80s and ‘90s (i.e. crack epidemic, Rodney King beating, music stations banning hip-hop and R&B, vetting Clarence Thomas) and speaking about it as if it was the “make America great” years, the more turned off I am by what should be a fun podcast. (I give credit to Bert Kreischer for attempting to educate them on this “good ole years” mentality.)
And then actress Kim Fields — one of my favorite actresses from “Living Single” to “The Upshaws” — was recently a guest on the show. And a comment she made finally forced me to throw in the towel. As much as I like(d) these childhood stars and want to love them as adults, I’ve tapped out. Why? I revisit my “melting pot” experience.
What was the Kim Fields’ comment made on “Brotherly Love”?
“There’s this sense of segregation to elevate,” said Kim Fields (at the 7:22 mark). “I don’t need to put you guys down so that I can be stronger and more confident and whatever the ‘more’ is that I’m in search of … I don’t perceive myself as a female director or a black director. I’m a director … I’m not a black actor. I’m not a female actor. I’m just an actor.”
As a black woman who has gained popularity in some of the most legendary shows with a predominantly black cast (i.e. “Living Single,” “Eve,” “One on One,” “Kenan & Kel,” “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air,” “Martin,” “227,” “Roots: The Next Generations”), this mindset would disappoint me even if she said it during an Essence interview. But it’s far worse to me to see this Harlem-born woman sit in front of three white men, dismissing parts of her identity that make her that much cooler. Condoleezza Rice would be so proud!