"I Do See Color" weekly newsletter: May 24, 2023
"I Do See Color" weekly newsletter: May 24, 2023
Weekly newsletter 34: Combination of race- and culture-related posts from "We Need to Talk," "I Do See Color," "BlackTechLogy," "Homegrown Tales" and "Window Shopping"
Welcome to the “I Do See Color” newsletter (with a bonus section of two first-person interviews called “Deuces”).
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Each week, eight carefully selected posts will be chosen from Substack’s “I Do See Color,” “Black Girl In a Doggone World,” “Homegrown Tales” and “Window Shopping,” along with Medium’s “We Need to Talk,” which focus on culture, politics, health and race from a black (wo)man’s perspective.
1. Is your dog racist, or is it really you? ~ What should a dog owner do when a dog expresses a racial preference?
Sometimes dog walks can get frustrating, but not in the way you might assume. On some dog walking platforms, you’re unable to see the dog walking notes until after you accept the request. The notes usually talk about the dog being afraid of certain noises, other dogs, dietary habits or physical ailments. But I was not prepared for the owner’s notes that I saw after this job was accepted: “Must be a Caucasian female in order to walk this dog.”
2. Alabama senior citizen arrested for $77 trash bill ~ Treat the elderly how you hope someone will treat you as you age
Right at that moment, I realized I was being a royal asshole by not just asking the tenant why was the box in the lobby for so long. I wrote a message in a greeting card and stuck it to her door, telling her to ring my doorbell or knock on my door when she had mail she needed to be picked up or brought upstairs. She was not going to admit she couldn’t pick up that box or carry it to her car — out of pride.
All it takes to resolve issues like this is a conversation — especially when it comes to seniors who may not have the same physical capabilities. And that’s exactly how I feel this 82-year-old woman in Alabama should have been treated after not paying her trash bill.
3. Trevor Noah thanks black women, I thank him ~ The first late-night talk show host who I was proud of for speaking on women's issues
I have had this image on my website for six years. I read and highlighted this quote from his book “Born a Crime,” and then found an image I liked to put it on. I have read his autobiography twice and will probably read it a third time. I am a fan of his—obviously.
When Trevor Noah confirmed he was quitting “The Daily Show,” I cried as quickly as I did when I learned Chadwick Boseman died. Clearly, Trevor Noah was alive and kicking. But both he and Chadwick Boseman had a way of talking about black women that just connected with me on a deeper level than other late-night talk show hosts or a sizable amount of black men who I meet on a daily basis (my family excluded—cause majority of them “get” us). (If a man loves and respects his mother, he moves differently. If you know, you know.)
4. Apple store controversy: Should employees stop thieves? ~ The Best Buy experience that makes me unsure
A room full of white therapists set up to talk to black people after a hate crime: There is no better way to describe obliviousness than that. I’m fairly convinced that this group was organized with the best of intentions, but these are those moments when Mainstream America really doesn’t understand just how stressful racism is on marginalized groups.
Let’s back up to how this started.
In May of this year, on the East Side of Buffalo New York, a white supremacist entered Tops grocery store, killed 10 people and injured three more. Almost all of the ones harmed or killed were Black in a neighborhood that was already 85% Black. Before 19-year-old gunman Payton Gendron pled guilty to murder and terrorism this week, the people in this town had to come to grips with what just happened.
Now imagine this just happened, and one day later, teams of white emergency volunteers and mental health counselors are flocking around the scene “to help.”
5. Should activism signs be allowed in condo unit windows? ~ Freedom of Speech or suppression by condo rules?
Silence is golden for some neighbors and the best way to avoid altercations. Still though, her signs became an issue for a unit owner who wanted me to talk to her. When I received a complaint and query about our bylaws and window treatments, I was not even slightly surprised. Although I knew the complainer was not a fan of Sanders, the reasoning behind asking me to tell her to take down the signs was because of “worry that protesters would attack our building.” Keep in mind my neighborhood is flooded with “Black Lives Matter,” “$750 for taxes” and “No Hate” yard signs, so this concern was struggling to have merit in the first place.
While I’m wildly skeptical of this unit owner’s window signs as more trendy than legitimately fighting for a cause, I could be wrong. Have I asked her to take them down either way? No. Could I? Yes. If it presented a problem, other than an anti-Sanders owner not liking them, I would indeed. As of now, it doesn’t phase me much.
6. TICKLED: When did men twerking become gay? ~ And other problems I have with the Fun Police for men
After every season of “Love Is Blind,” I end up with a headache watching these couples. Of course there are the Tiffanys and the Bretts who make me cheer them on like they’re the Obamas. Then, there are the Iyannas and Jarrettes who I cross my fingers for and hope they make it last (the latter divorced). However, I’m usually left watching this show and shaking my head, thinking, “I know why you’re single now.” (And that sounds extra judgmental from someone who would only get married in separate homes.) There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being single. There is something disturbing about being a single villain.
7. Fighting over a man? Hard pass ~ The Cardi B logic I agreed with in my 20s but not beyond
An athlete was drunk at a party and started rambling on about who in our social circle had had sex. I wasn’t at that party. When a college friend told me what happened the next day, I sat down on my dorm bed and thought, “Wait, am I the accidental other woman?”
Never in my life did I think I’d be an “other,” but the two people who the diarrhea-of-the-mouth athlete was talking about were another friend of mine and a guy I had recently started dating. Had I known that, I’d have never dated this guy. I was confused. Why wouldn’t my own friend tell me that so I could keep my distance?
8. Is it OK for your mom to be your wingwoman? ~ Erykah Badu’s thirst trap post with her daughter: Yay or nay?
Erykah Badu is where there is a gray area*. I absolutely adore Badu’s music and her sound, but when she goes off the rails on how girls should dress (knee-length skirts), R. Kelly and Hitler, she loses me. Big time. I have not listened to her music in years because I just cannot take her commentary on women.
It doesn’t make her any less talented nor does it make me deny that she is drowning in talent. There are some artists who I can appreciate for the art and cringe at their alleged past (ex. Marvin Gaye). There are others who gave up completely on defending (ex. Bill Cosby). Then there are those who I grudgingly hold onto for the art although I wish I could unsee/unhear/unknow their views (ex. Erykah Badu). But she just keeps saying or doing things that ruin it again, which led me to my tweet above.
While Twitter bickers back and forth about whether an Instagram image of a mother and daughter showing off their butts is appropriate, there was one particular tweet that caught my interest the most: It was about whether it’s inappropriate for a mother to be a wingwoman for her child. I’m 50/50 on this one. Here’s why.
“Deuces” ~ “I Do See Color” newsletter’s bonus interviews:
1. “Chicago Nurse Chooses Acupuncture Over Prescription Pills,” CBS Chicago, November 24, 2014
"I love nursing," said Cynthia Williams, MSOM, L.Ac, RN, CA. "It was always my passion, but I wanted something more holistic that I could combine with my nursing. I didn't agree with the way patients were treated. I don't agree with pushing pills on people. I don't agree with that type of medicine; I agree with preventative medicine."
2. “Chicago Public Defender Fights for Those With Odds Stacked Against Them,” CBS Chicago, November 17, 2014
"You may not be able to get employed right after passing the bar and getting licensed," said assistant public defender Chastidy Burns. "But there's some volunteer work that you can do particularly with the office you want to get hired in. If you want to be a public attorney or state's attorney then you want to try to volunteer with those offices, [join] any organization that lets you take on real cases and have face time with clients."
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