"I Do See Color" weekly newsletter: January 4, 2023
Weekly newsletter 14: Combination of race- and culture-related posts from "I Do See Color," "BlackTechLogy" and "Window Shopping"
Welcome to the “I Do See Color” newsletter (with a bonus section of two first-person interviews called “Deuces”).
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Now let’s get into the weekly newsletter!
Each week, eight* carefully selected posts will be chosen, which focus on culture, politics, health and race from a black (wo)man’s perspective.
NEW! 1. 'Tulsa King,' 'Creed III' and Sylvester Stallone's anti-'dark space' stance ~ Is the problem with 'Creed III' that there is no white hero to look up to?
The way “Creed II” ended gave Sylvester Stallone’s return a roll of the dice. I could just as easily see him returning from Canada with “This Is Us” star Milo Ventimiglia (who played Rocky’s adult son) as easily as his character dying off from cancer.
What I didn’t see coming was Stallone being so vocal about the third film being “too dark.” From the trailer that Michael B. Jordan shared, it looked like something I’ve seen play out multiple times in my own hometown of Chicago—minus the boxing. I had to attend Northern Michigan University to get an insider’s look at that life. I watched the trailer a couple of times and wondered what Stallone meant by this statement: “I just don’t want them going into that dark space. I just feel people have enough darkness.”
Still, how does Stallone explain the plot of “Tulsa King” then?
2. 10 ways to figure out if (s)he really has ‘a black friend’ ~ Note: May not apply for all black people, but it applies to enough
The next time someone tells you they have a “black friend,” ask any questions below (some are light work, others get uncomfortable, the rest are done humoring the “black friend” plug) to solidify whether it’s true. Otherwise, this “friend” may really just be a random melanin-rich person in the breakroom or stuck sitting next to him/her at the company party.
3. Mos Def may be the only rapper I’m a superfan of ~ And the tale of my ankle can tell you why
To say I’m a hip-hop fan is an understatement. I’ve worked for several hip-hop magazines and interviewed a number of artists. I’ve been to so many hip-hop concerts that I honestly couldn’t tell you an exact number. I never really considered myself a superfan of anybody though. I like a lot of artists, but I never thought of myself as someone who’d cry, faint or yell at the sight of someone. I’d like to consider myself pretty chill around all artists — give or take a momentary childhood crush. There is one artist who folks may say I went above and beyond for, and I have to blame it on a pair of 3-inch heels.
4. Know what FAST means, not just one sign of a stroke ~ Strokes are 2xs higher for black people
The man with the master’s degree became a chauffeur driver to learn the life. But that day, he just wanted to go home and relax. As he got ready to pump gas, something along his side felt strange, almost numb. He’d seen enough Internet posts to know what was happening. He turned slowly, walked with purpose and barely made it into the gas station door. By the time he got to the counter, he was slurring.
The cashier turned to look at him and immediately started laughing. He tapped a friend, who also laughed at the burly man barely holding onto the counter. Finally the chauffeur driver made a motion with his fingers as if he was writing with a pen. The two cashiers snickered, wondering what this clearly inebriated man could possibly write. The smiles dropped as they read what was on the paper: 9–1–1. They had no idea up until that moment that the slurring sounds they were hearing were the signs of a man having a stroke.
5. Why black women have mixed opinions on black men in interracial relationships ~ How my opinion went from indifference to frustration to acceptance
“When I dated white women, it was a matter of revenge,” he said to me. “For all the racist white men I’ve encountered over the years, who messed with me for no reason, it was a way to say, ‘Yeah, that’s right. And I fucked your daughter too.’”
I raised an eyebrow. On one hand, I understood how satisfying it could be to sit across from a man who clearly hated you based on something as trivial as skin color. On the other hand, considering I had a pretty diverse circle of friends in undergrad, I was uncomfortable about the idea of any friend of mine being chosen as a pawn as opposed to genuinely being liked.
I paused before asking my next question.
6. Black people didn’t ask you to ‘save’ them ~ Why the savior complex is so exhausting to those who didn’t ask you to be
“Did she give you that cape that you’ve glued to your back?” I thought to myself during a recent conversation. I’d listened to a non-black woman go on and on about the number of black people at a prior job that she’d advised, and how she was sure they all looked up to her. I pondered on just how often these black women (she specified the race of the women) she advised gave her the credit that she was giving herself. Something tells me that this relationship may have not been as mutual as she believes.
It’s the Christopher Columbus-level logic: “I came onto your land, and therefore, I’ve upgraded your land.” This mode of thinking very seldom considers other role models nor prior existence of said person who needed this “hero” — or assumes they have any. It just comes in to “save” this person in a way to mirror his/her own lifestyle.
7. Scary factor: Sasha Obama and black boys with locks ~ Internalizing the intimidation factor hurts dark-skinned black men forever
The first time I ever heard someone describe dreadlocks as “disgusting” and “dirty” was from a biracial man of Jamaican ancestry. I was dumbfounded and wondered how many of his relatives he’d just shot a verbal machine gun at all at once. I thought about that while scrolling through Twitter yesterday after an attractive photo and TikTok video of Sasha Obama popped up online.
I knew conservatives were going to say painfully idiotic statements about her photo and the video of Sasha Obama using the word “bitch” almost as much as they came for the “WAP” video. But before I could step one foot onto my soapbox to tell folks to let Sasha Obama bring out her inner Aaliyah — who is fully covering up her T&A and only has her stomach out, as is seen by any human being during summer months or one who has visited a beach in his/her entire life — I kept seeing insults describing the dark-skinned, young, black man in the background. And that is wearing me out more because it’s coming from black and white people.
8. To white parents, one size does not fit all ~ Five tips for white parents trying to raise non-racist children
Babysitter. It’s the one thing I never really wanted to be as a kid, although I had more than 100 “The Babysitter’s Club” books and a personal letter from author Ann M. Martin. I have never wanted children, nor do I feel I’m qualified to give people advice about parenthood 99.9 percent of the time. So it always puzzles me when non-black parents will reach out to me as an advice vessel for their child(ren). A very small part of me understands it — there are things I will be able to explain as an African-American woman that non-black parents simply will never experience.
When the stepmother of my college roommate asked me to babysit her child, I fully understood where she was coming from: embarrassment. Her daughter had just asked me were my hands “burned” after seeing the exterior of my hand did not match my palm. From that observation alone, it was pretty obvious she’d never been around many dark-skinned black people. And considering the way this little girl had snuggled up on my lap, we clearly had bonded. While the college roommate and I had a big falling out and I got an off-campus apartment, the one thing I regret most is not staying in touch with her little sister.
“Deuces” ~ “I Do See Color” newsletter’s bonus interviews:
1. "Real Men Cook Chicago co-founder Yvette Moyo Gillard talks about Father's Day and Chicago community," Chicago News & Events Examiner, June 3, 2010
For the past 20 years* in Chicago, Father's Day has gotten the recognition it deserves thanks to events like Real Men Cook. It was the founders who created and celebrated this cooking, health and united tradition of bringing fathers together. One-half of the founders, Yvette Moyo Gillard, talked with Shamontiel about the creation of the event with her former husband and business partner, Kofi Moyo, and those who made REal Men Cook what it is today.
* In 2022, this organization has been celebrated for 33 years.
2. "North Side agency pushes for HIV/AIDS testing," Chicago Defender, June 25 - July 1, 2008
Pedestrians may not notice Better Existence with HIV*, an HIV/AIDS prevention and testing center located inside of Bethany Lutheran Church, 1244 W. Thorndale. Minus a sign on the door, a passerby won't know about the people sitting in a waiting room where large glass containers full of various condoms (female condoms, male condoms, polyurethane varnish sheets for safe oral sex, flavored condoms and lubricants) greet them in colors resembling a box of crayons. BEHIV patients are invited to take as much protection as they want and are taken downstairs to the basement of the building, where there is a comfy couch and different contraception and handouts about sexually transmitted diseases on the table, to be tested.
* Unfortunately, this location is now permanently closed. However, I encourage you to look for similar free testing locations in your own neighborhoods.
Did you enjoy this post? You’re also welcome to check out my Substack columns “Black Girl In a Doggone World,” “BlackTechLogy,” “Homegrown Tales,” “I Do See Color,” “One Black Woman’s Vote,” “Tickled,” “We Need To Talk” and “Window Shopping” too. Subscribe to this newsletter for the weekly posts every Wednesday.
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