UPDATED! Not all black folks embrace the n-word
UPDATED! Not all black folks embrace the n-word
And I don't understand why non-American black people want to immediately use the word either
Writer’s note on July 3, 2024: I’d forgotten I wrote this post because I barely go on Instagram outside of posting dog pics or dog promo material. (They are correct now. My newer account is VERY promotional.) But Malcolm Jamal Warner’s “NAH” podcast series on the n-word made me look up old posts to see if I’d covered this topic. And now I remember that I did, but that controversial Instagram post I discussed has been deleted. I have no idea when. Regardless, I recommend watching or listening to “NAH” though, specifically Episode 3 (linked above). I do not comprehend the logic to “take back” and redefine a word that was intended to demean.
Writer’s note Sept. 29, 2023: Instagram refused to unfreeze my account and froze a second one for being too “promotional.” Instagram has become as annoying as Facebook and Elon Musk’s version of Twitter. My username has since changed, so the comment that initiated this post may no longer be visible. My opinion on the n-word remains the same.
ORIGINAL POST: I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been asked if I’m Ethiopian. It seemed so random for people to ask me that while walking on the streets of Chicago. It never happens when I am on the South Side (where the population of black people is higher) but seems to always come up whenever I am on the North Side.
The population of African people living in Chicago is significantly higher northbound, so this started to make sense. Eventually, and because the question was so specific to a particular country in Africa, I looked up Ethiopian women. After that, I fully understood why they were so specific about my physical traits. Although I’ve done a family tree into the 1800s, Ethiopia never came up though.
But lately a segment of the social media population has assumed I’m African for a completely different (and wildly idiotic) reason: this video. First off, I love “Try Me” by Tobe Nwigwe. Although I’m not a fan of him (mostly because any time he talks about Martica "Fat" Nwigwe, it makes me cringe), he’s a dope lyricist, creative artist and has some phenomenal songs. I am never going to hate on his artistry. He’s incredibly talented. But there is nothing funny to me about that Instagram post.
Seventeen-year-old me would say 41-year-old me is being way too sensitive about this video (or the word), would go off into a naive rant about how black people changed the meaning of the word as though “a” magically changes the history of “er,” and would point out the two op-eds she wrote in magazines and her debate with an African-American history teacher.
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Teenage Shamontiel was loud and WRONG about use of the n-word and went all the way into college talking about how “black people changed the meaning of the word.” Real life taught Grown-Up Shamontiel “ain’t shit changed” and every time black people try to talk other black people into using the word, it makes racist police and the Ku Klux Klan stand back and smile. Mission complete!
In my actual comment on the Instagram post (a week ago), I stated the following:
“It is so strange to me how people are so hype to say ‘nigga.’ African-Americans say that dumb shit enough. I do not need to hear Africans saying it too.”
(Note: Although Tobe Nwigwe’s roots are in Nigeria, this comment is technically inaccurate. He is first-born Nigerian-American and born in Alief, Texas. Regardless of him repping Africa super hard, he’s American. It STILL doesn’t change my point, and brings up a larger debate about why those who actually are from Africa too often embrace the term.)
I also stated the following:
“[…] notice that Africans don't come to America, see EACH OTHER and call EACH OTHER ‘kaffir.’ Meanwhile, a disturbing number of black folks really just insist that other black folks should use their ‘changed’ version of a word.”
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And in the most ironic turn of events, Instagram froze me from leaving comments for seven days after this exchange. Imagine Instagram not blocking black folks from making fun of Africans and using “nigga” nonstop, but me using this other slur as an example froze me out. The only reason I even knew it was a slur was because of one of Trevor Noah’s standup routines. (I’m a huge fan of Trevor Noah, but I despise when he uses the n-word too.)
Ironically, that Instagram freeze made the point that I was already stating. You’ll never hear Hispanic people call each other “wetbacks” or “spics.” You don’t hear Asian people call each other “chinks.” You don’t hear Jewish people call each other “kikes.” You don’t hear Australian people call each other “dago” or “wog.” But my response to black people not using the n-word was a couple users saying “nigga, shut up.” To no one’s surprise, they are NOT shut out from comment sections.
Recommended Read: “The bigot across the hall ~ The racist neighbor in my building, and the landlord who appeased him”
And around the time I started dealing with unapologetically racist people in my college years, I started taking note of this pattern. We’re the only group who is persistent about using slave terminology to describe each other. And if you dare to critique it, somehow the people reading it assume you must be African and “forgot you were black.” Meanwhile, I was born and raised in Chicago in a predominantly black neighborhood.
I will never regret my comment. I stand on it. Although I have a complex relationship with hotep theories, them calling black women “queens” is the one thing I can get on board with. I don’t even need to be called all that. I’m perfectly content with being referred to by my actual first and last name. I actually prefer my name over pet names, but I’ll take queen over “nigga” every single day of the week and twice on Fridays!
Granted, the lady in the video cannot help what her actual name is. It is what it is. But making a video to laugh about it is just weird. Not only is it dismissive of an entire group of people who were sold for forced labor, kidnapped, raped, brutalized, yanked away from their kids and stripped of their native cultures, but now we’re cracking superhero jokes about what they were labeled? How is this funny? I don’t even think 17-year-old me would’ve laughed at it; I was just naive enough to believe it was “just a word for black people” to use.
Recommended Read: “Life before slavery: African history gets the silent treatment in U.S. schools ~ Teaching U.S.’s mistreatment of Africans is important, but what about pre-slavery?”
In one of the more equally ridiculous comments, someone white asked me if it would make a difference if (s)he used it. I’M DONE ANSWERING ATTENTION-SEEKING WHITE PEOPLE about the n-word. It was messed up when your ancestors used it during the Middle Passage, and it’s equally wrong in 2023 and the rest of the century. I ignore them entirely and auto-block. I have zero interest in white people critiquing black people for using the word. Focus on other anti-racism issues your group needs to fix. Sit this one out.
Recommended Read: “To white parents, one size does not fit all ~ Five tips for white parents trying to raise non-racist children”
The n-word is one of those topics that I will exclusively discuss with black people because I want us to stop using the word. It’s draining, and I’m probably better off just agreeing to disagree. It took real-life experiences in college for me to change my own stubborn mind on this word. And by the time I entered the working world, I doubled down and even lost jobs over microaggressions that felt like iconic black folks were being dismissed as “niggas.”
Recommended Read: “Harriet Tubman’s legacy made me lose a job ~ My proudest moment of being dismissed as an editor”
When you know better, you do better. There are black people who are fully aware of the sting of the word, and still use it anyway. Then there are black people who really don’t know much about their history or respect themselves enough to think they’re anything more than “niggas” and “bitches.” I can’t handle being around the latter group at all.
The first group is the one I keep (sometimes successfully and sometimes unsuccessfully) trying to get through to. I already know there’s a possibility that it can happen. Once upon a time, I was them. If you’re a man, woman, boy or girl, why not identify as such? Is self-identifying as a “nigga” helping you in any way, shape or form throughout life? Respect yourself enough to be referred to by terminology that you would be proud to use around anybody and for them to refer to you as too. This is not a laughing matter.
Did you enjoy this post? You’re also welcome to check out my Substack columns “Black Girl In a Doggone World,” “BlackTechLogy,” “Homegrown Tales,” “I Do See Color,” “One Black Woman’s Vote,” “Tickled,” “We Need To Talk” and “Window Shopping” too. Subscribe to this newsletter for the weekly posts every Wednesday.
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