What I learned from creating an AI boyfriend
BlackTechLogy: While singles are embracing AI boyfriends and AI girlfriends, this is not taking off in popularity with most African-American singles.
This post is part of a series entitled “BlackTechLogy.” Click here for the archived posts.
During the pandemic, there were two groups of people: those who were opposed to social isolation, vaccines and face masks, and those who were ready to get vaccinated and mask up as soon as possible — even if they had differing opinions on social isolation. Meanwhile, in 2020, I was on 62 dating sites. No, I wasn’t painfully lonely. In fact, I was also the president of a Toastmasters group and my condo board at the same time while freelancing for multiple clients. If anything, I was so busy that COVID-19 was not on my mind nearly as much until I had to go outside.
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So why was I on 62 dating sites? I was still an Upwork freelancer at the time. (After 10 years, I quit Upwork last summer and shut down my account.) A client hired me to dissect dating sites, learn their pros and cons, explore whether they were worth paying for, and identify what makes each site different. I looked at dating sites for seniors who were single, middle-aged singles, pet lovers who were single, and people who were most focused on romantic partners that shared their race and religion. In 2020, the one thing I didn’t investigate was singles who were interested in artificial intelligence companions, like these people:
Watching this “60 Minutes Australia” video was wild. I could tell you anything and everything about OKCupid, but AI partners were a different ball game.
Recommended Read: “Black women, please ignore the OkCupid study ~ Other people’s idea of beauty can become a self-fulfilling prophecy”
I could even talk to you about artificial intelligence dating concierges but not actually creating an AI boyfriend. That was never one of my assignments. The closest I came to seeing this was bobbing my head along to TeaMarrr’s collaboration with D. Smoke.
And while AI boyfriends and AI girlfriends seem to be getting embraced by some demographics, I’m seeing very little coverage of Black women and Black men testing this out. Pretty much every AI relationship (or AI-lationship) app I see is with white or Asian people. Although we’re not living in a Steve Harvey “Think Like a Man” era anymore, relationship coaches here and here are still very much trying to get singles to meet in the flesh — even if some choose dating apps as a buffer. So why aren’t AI-lationships taking off with Black folks even while dating apps are bringing in anywhere from $3.5 billion to $6.18 billion?
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That question kept popping into my head while watching this “60 Minutes” special. As a Black woman, I admit I couldn’t wrap my mind around why anybody would even want an AI-lationship. In this NPR special, a woman was lectured by her AI boyfriend about the price of a computer upgrade. Girl, seriously?! What is he going to do if you don’t follow his budget plan? Put a virus on your laptop?
I let out a chuckle when I saw a poll stating 50% of men versus 27% of women say the people who design AI take women’s perspectives into account very or somewhat well. Arguing with a robot boyfriend about money checks out.
Regardless of the strange couple debates, there were a few things I was surprised to learn about myself while testing three apps (Glambase, Candy AI and My AI Boyfriend) to create an AI boyfriend. Here are five lessons I think single people can learn from an AI-lationship even if the sole goal is to date someone in the flesh.
1. Technology is influencing the dating market when it comes to long-term careers.
No matter how much the topic of equality and equal pay comes up, women generally want a man who is financially comfortable. I could easily choose eye color, hair color, hairstyle, body structure and race, but I paused for a long time over occupation. Why? A construction worker in Illinois can make $50,712 and a yoga instructor can make $46,000. One may be a lot less messy and have far less laundry than the other. Do I want to get limber or hang from a bicep?
Would I take my chances with a flight attendant making $68,370 or a commercial pilot making $239,200 — knowing that the Trump administration has gotten rid of more than 400 aviation jobs. Or, would I choose a photographer with an average salary of $42,494 in a social media world where everyone is choosing selfie sticks and filters? I skipped all of those jobs and went rogue.
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After toggling between an auto mechanic, who makes $69,949 annually, and a barber, whose average salary is $50,508 in Illinois, I chose the barber. Why? Technology is taking over entirely too many jobs. It’s going to take a while for a robot to be able to cut anybody’s hair. If you’ve ever stepped foot in a black barbershop, you are aware that black men do not play about their haircuts or their sideburns.
Recommended Read: “Barbershop on-demand app has been a long time coming ~ IDSC ‘BlackTechLogy’: Grooming industry finds new way to get customers via mobile device: theCut”
Meanwhile, unless he has his own shop, mechanics use automotive diagnostic equipment to figure out what’s wrong with a car instead of physically tinkering around beforehand. A man who can fix a car is a superhero in my mind, but technology is catching up too fast with this field.